The Simple Things

I follow a blog of a woman who had a 25-weeker several months after I had my first preemie. Her daughter had so many scares and such a long journey that it made me grateful for our own 91-day NICU stay. I was so emotionally invested in her daughter living. Sometimes, it was like I could actually feel the pain of her words.

It’s like a woman who almost lost her twin preemies said to me today, “You don’t know stress until you’ve had a baby in the NICU.” Once you’ve been there, it takes so little imagination to go right back.

Anyway, back to the blog I follow. One of her recent posts was about how tough she is about some things–like medical procedures–that should be traumatic, but then she cries at seemingly mundane moments in her daughter’s life. I knew exactly what she meant! I’ve had to hold both my babies down for a variety of shots and exams, and I always kept my cool. But, I’ve teared up more than once just watching J run across the yard. Because he lived. Because it took months and months of physical therapy. Because he looks so normal now. I know every mom thinks her kids are miracles. They are. But there is just something different when you’ve worked so hard for every milestone. Sometimes, I just stop everything I’m doing. I look at him, and I celebrate where he is right now. I mean he was 2 pounds 34 months ago, and now I can sit on the deck and watch him run.

RUN.

For this, I am so grateful. Before J, I never appreciated the simplicity of walking, talking, eating, and drinking. We are all miracles. But, when you’re a NICU Mama and you’ve come so close to losing everything, the simple things just aren’t so simple.

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