Mothers and Preemie Daughters

Baby MI just read a Huffington Post article about a new “Human Placenta Project,” which aims to better understand the organ that makes growing babies possible. If the placenta fails, the pregnancy fails. If the placenta suffers, the pregnancy suffers. Amazingly, such an important organ is little understood.

It is thought (and I stress thought because no one really knows) that early-onset preeclampsia is related to a poorly performing placenta. Why and how and what to do about it are all questions up for research.

After I had J, I thought a day might come when I’d put preterm labor, J’s traumatic delivery, and the sorrowful months of his babyhood behind me. I knew they’d marked me, that they’d marked all of us, even our extended family. But, I thought as J grew and his health improved and we had big, healthy, full-term babies, that it would all seem like a dream.

In so many ways, M changed everything. Not only was my life forever marked by the way my children entered the world, not only was my childbearing over, and not only was this a way of life that I began to embrace…

M was a girl.

It’s different having a preemie who is a girl. A huge question looms: Is this genetic, beginning with me? Could M have preemies, like me. I have nothing to warn her against, because I never received a single diagnosis about anything. Maybe it is just me, but what if it isn’t? I want M to be resilient in the face of adversity, but do I wish this adversity on M? Never.

All the Preemie Mamas out there know exactly what I mean. All the parents out there probably understand too. But, I know the Preemie Mamas hope one day they’ll have the satisfaction of holding big, healthy babies and watching their children have the beautiful experiences they missed.

It’s even deeper than that, though. I am afraid for M, because preeclampsia was deadly. And it felt deadly. It was shocking how rapidly it took hold of me. It was a thief in the night, ready to take M and me both. And what if M weren’t as fortunate as me? What if she lost her baby, or her life, or both?

Sometimes, I feel like because so many people have healthy babies in our day and time that we’re complacent on research into pregnancy and pregnancy complications. Too many babies die unnecessarily around the world because of our lack of knowledge. Once things go haywire in pregnancy, it’s a crapshoot.

For my daughter, I have to believe that things will be different.

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If you’re interested in the Huffington Post article, here’s the link.

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