Potty-Related Adventures

I have learned that kids do crazy things. And that crazy things happen when you have kids. And that sometimes you will look around at all the crazy things in your life and wonder what the heck happened. Especially when it comes to pottying. Life with kids is full of potty-related adventures.

Like the time my husband was changing M and poop sprayed–sprayed–against the wall. You’re just never prepared for that.

Or the time I smelled something in the back of the car. When we were in a hurry to pick up J from school. 30 minutes away. And M had poop from her neck to her toes. No lie. And when I opened the diaper bag, there were wipes–thank goodness–but no extra clothes. (Why do I always forget to check the diaper bag before I go places??)

So, recently we’ve been potty training J, which has thrown us into an entirely new world full of discussions about poop and appropriate sanitation and who is wearing underwear. Since J could walk, privacy in the bathroom has been negligible. But, now that he’s actually paying attention to what we’re doing, there are all sorts of uncomfortable questions when–let’s be honest–I really just want to be left alone.

Which brings me to our potty-related adventure at J’s school this week. J finally felt ready to wear underwear to school, and I worried about him the whole morning because he’d told me he was afraid he’d potty on himself. When I went to pick him up and he still had the same pants on, I celebrated. The only problem was that he’d refused to potty at school. All morning. So, I took him to the school potty. And first things first: I hate public restrooms, even the mostly clean ones. But, there I found myself putting his bare bottom on the potty and trying to act all calm. Until I noticed a puddle forming at the base of the potty. I apparently don’t understand the physics of boys pottying, probably because I’m a girl. So, I told him to stop–which amazingly, he did–and I repositioned him. Except that this time, he peed on his pants. Which was EXACTLY what his biggest fear was. So, I pulled everything off, including his shoes. In the public restroom. (Which might have been my biggest fear.) And now, he won’t potty at all. He just asks for a diaper.

And this is why parenting is so hard. Because even when you’re trying your best and you think you have it all together, you don’t. There’s always a potty-related adventure right around the corner.

For this reason, I feel very sure that there will be another blog post titled “Potty-Related Adventures, Episode 2.” It’s inevitable.